Blognya leli

tuh kan!
tuh kan!
tell me that im jealous, crazy or whatever between.
tapi plis de.
ke ade dy tu g bs kaya gt

blom lagi kalo ngobrol,
mo sama sapa aja dy tu mau diajak ngobrol.
asik bgt malah!
diliat pula!
sama ade?
plis de.

gitu bilangnya dy tu gitu..soalnya ade tu bla bla bla.
trus katanya dy tu gini…soalnya ade bla bla bla.
plis de.
bener ga sih?

trus, "plis de" slanjutnya,
dy bilangnya cuma bisa mastiin dari jauh kalo ade baik-baik saja.
PLIS DE!!!!!
gmn km bs bilang that im ok if the person who makes me not okay is you?
is you.
it’s you.

tika bole bilang gara2 praktikum ato sgala macem.
tp plis de. ("plis de" ke-5)
sebete-betenya ade ga munghkin lah org yg baik ke ade, ade jutekin juga!

trus, THAT ".txt"…
who is she…
your new lover,,,
or your lover in the past?
or…
your lover in the past, now, and forever?
whoever

folder2 itu…
flashdisk2 itu…
cerita2 itu…
cerita2 ittuhh…

yah, salah ato bener jgn slahin cerita.
karna cuma dr situ ade tw.

soalnya…
kalo liat dari sikapmu mah…

udah lah , de…
ade aja kali ya, terlalu keGRan.

-dont look at me like you really love me
dont take me high if you dont want me
dont think its easy to be the one that you love and forget
and the things are quite interesting-

tapi ya harusnya ade ga judes ya ma dy…
du….y gini de resikonya org ekspresif…
suka org, kliatan….
sebel juga, ga bisa nutupin…
ah ya sud.

2 kali…

2 flashdisk…

2 nama…

g tw berapa yang lainnya…

im not jealous, i dont get moved by much

im not enraged, not insecure as such

not going insane, rational stays in touch

doth i protest too much

im not tortured by how oft youre busy

im not disappointed about how you dont miss me

im not needy, i dont get clingy much

i am not scared, im not afraid as such

im not dependent, rock solid stays in touch

doth i protest too much

i dont cringe when you stare at women beda ma ke gueh…

im not saddened, walopun tnyata km bs terbuka ma sapa aja.

asik ma sapa aja.

ngobrol ma sapa aja.

ttg apa aja.

kecuali ma gueh…

im not concerned about yg-ga-penting2-bgt-de, yg sepele2..ga ko.

im not depressed, i dont get down that much

im not despondent, i am not dark as such

im never "sad", keep chin up stays in touch

doth i protest too much

yah..cm jadi tambah ga yakin ajah…

thanks to…

alanis…

for the song…

i wont see my dear friends as much
male friends especially ill no longer be in touch
ill change my hobbies to match yours

ill stop reading my favorite books
i wont spend all this selfish time alone
ill cater to you and hang on your every word

ill be subservient and spineless
ill lick your boots as empty shell
ill be opinion-less and silent
ill be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself

ill redefine self-sacrifice
live my life as apologetic compromise
i know you’d leave if i rocked the boat

i feel this, truly proclaimed, will help the curbing of this tendency
i know this sharing of shame will ensure that i wont forget myself so easily

ill be low maintenance and agreeable
i will not talk about my dreams so much
ill listen to you for hours, wont need for anything

hohohohoho…
any comment?
apa ya?
feodal banget?
pa mang harusnya gitu?

I wish
wishing for you to find your way
and i’ll hold on for all you need
i’ll take my chancec while
you take your time with
this game you play
but i can’t control your soul
you need to let me know
you leaving or you gonna stay

you’re the only one i ever believed in
the answer that could never be found
the moment you decided to let love in
now i’m banging on the door of an angel
the end of fear is where we begin
the moment we decided to let love in

there’s nothing we can do about
the things we have to do without
the only way to feel again
is let love in

thanks to…
Goo Goo Dolls…
for the greatest song…

malu bgt ih!!!
knapa buat jaga diri aja ade kudu diingetin orang lain?
orang lain.
mmmmmmm…..
kalo mang dia doain ade brubah…
amiiiiinnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!
ya Allah amin….
smoga Allah mengabulkan.
biar ade ditunjukkin sama Allah.
dengan alesan apapun.
dah nganggep ade adek kek,
gemes kek,
karna ade nakal kek,
karna ade autis kek,
ya…ditunjukkinnnya ga dengan cara itu ya!!!!!!!!
iya bener..
ga kuat nerusin.
pokonya.
Alhamdulillah, Allah masi mau ngingetin ade…
brarti ade ga boleh nyia2in ini yah…
beneran loh de…
alesan apapun ya…
bener loh…
jgn autis juga.
suka ga nyadar…
srasa dr papa.
yg ini kudu diinget2 loh.
harus nyadar.
harus nyadar.
yah…
o iya.
makasi buat yg dititpin Allah ngingetin ade soal ini.
makasi bgt.
hu……………
benernya ga kuat ngomong ini…
malu bgt!!!!
yah…
beneran ya de ya…
kudu nyadar ya de ya…
inget inget…
jangan lupa…
beneran!

… puasaku

hanya Engkau yang tahu

bahkan aku pun tak begitu tahu

apakah aku sedang berpuasa atau sekedar lapar dan dahaga

…

aku cuma ingin belajar

mengikhlaskan seluruh perbuatanku hanya untukMu

…

meskipun kalimat itu terasa lucu

karena Engkau memang tak butuh sesuatu

…

Agus Mustofa, Scientific Fasting